Every day I show up to participate in this life! --- Mostly
Why I'm happy
Tags: happy

So...late this afternoon, after a full day of yard work, where it involved me schlepping 15 bags of mulch and planting about 1 million plants, the Mr. and I sat in the garage, enjoing the sunshine, peace and quiet, and a silver bullet and we (and by we I mean I) was discussing my 'not so normal' life and childhood.  I was discussing something that happened to my older brother, when we lived in El Paso, that, I think, explains why he is in prison for molesting a young girl about 8 or 9 years ago.  After the discussion I asked my husband (of almost 16 years) why he chose to marry someone as messed up as me --- his reply --- "well partly I didn't know any better and partly it wouldn't have made any difference anyways" - words from him exactly.


Can I just say how much I love him!


This man that I have been married to for 16 years, this year, and have been with for 18 years is the most forgiving, open person I know!  He is way more open and giving of himself than I could ever imagine to be.  When I meet people I tend to be standish offish (is that even a word?) but my husband is always open and accepts that people have faults and so what...while I tend to pick things apart and hold almost all of myself back to protect from...what?....getting hurt???  While I see him give and give and give some more even if it means someone will take advantage of him - it doesn't seem to matter.


I think he gives what he knows he can afford to lose...but I think that he gives ALL of what he knows he can afford to lose - or maybe he just knows that I will make up the difference.....

I've been thinking that I need to fire this thing back up and start expressing myself again!  Not stiffled in life just need to be creative and this is where I always found it.

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