Several years ago I was in a different job, and had to work very closely with a man named Allen.  We are the same age, both had been through a divorce, and had custody of our kids (who were close in age).  We became fast friends and had a lot in common.  We became very comfortable with each other like an old pair of jeans and one day the conversation somehow got turned into a discussion about bathroom habits, mainly his bathroom habits.  It seems that whenever he had to take a dump at work he would go into the bathroom stall, take his shirt off and hang it on the hook on the back of the door.  I don’t remember his reasoning for doing this because I was laughing so hard and got a mental image of him sitting on the pot minus his shirt.  He wasn’t exactly in the best shape and even the tan body parts were pasty white so this mental image would always make me laugh out loud whenever I saw him going to the bathroom with the newspaper tucked under his arm.  As the conversation ensued I found out more than I ever wanted to know about Allen.  It seems that when he was at home and had to take a dump he would remove all of his clothing, every last stitch of it, socks and shoes included.  For some strange reason he couldn’t take a shit with his clothes on.  So, men, just think about it, when you’re in the bathroom, taking care of business, the guy in the next stall might have his shirt off taking a dump.

On a totally related topic, never indulge in your craving for Mexican food when you have been battling diarrhea for three days.  The hot sauce, that tasted so good at lunch, will not be your friend when it exits your body.  Man, I need a Popsicle for my ass.