On the way home from work the other day I spied a billboard advertisement for Breast Enlargement $89.00/month. Now I’m all about surgically changing the way you look if you just can’t learn to live with it. I had cosmetic surgery done on my jaw when I was 22 yrs old because I had a terrible under bite and looked like a bulldog. Ok, well, maybe not that bad, but that is what I thought when I saw my profile and wouldn’t let people photograph me from the side. Anyways, I had the surgery and in the last 18 years, haven’t ever regretted it. It really made a difference in my self esteem and the way I perceived that I looked. But I really have to wonder about a major surgery enhancement that allows you to pay it out in monthly installments. At $89.00 a month I have a few questions.

1. What is the interest rate 35%?
2. Exactly how long it would take to pay it off?
3. At 40 yrs old, would I still be alive and/or enjoying them when I made the last payment?
4. If I didn’t pay them off before I passed on to the other side would my children/grandchildren be liable for the remaining balance?
5. Do they charge by the ounce or something?
6. Does it cost more to go from a cup size B to D than it would to go from a B to C???
7. Does the $89.00 include the cost of the Doctor, hospital and anesthesiologist or just the silicone boobs themselves?
8. If I didn’t like them could I get my money back?

This billboard also has some fine print (imagine that), but I’ll be damned if I can read it as the speed limit through there is 65 (which means I’m driving 72) and have been trying to all week (read it, not drive fast). Did I mention I got a speeding ticket New Years day, in Abilene of all places? Yep, 82 in a 70, that’s gonna cost, might have to give up my first born. Oh wait, they would give him back. Note to self, add need to slow down, to New Years resolutions.