Ok, today’s recipe is brought to you courtesy of Mullows.  We have this dish that we make called “Critters” and there is kind of a story behind them (hey, we live in Texas and recycle road-kill).  When we started making these they were made out of deer meat, then one day we used up the deer meat and realized that we were going to need more critters to feed the multitudes so we looked in the deep freeze and found some elk steak and proceeded to cut it up.  Then it evolved even further when one of the guys got married and his wife didn’t like deer or elk but would eat pork tenderloin so we started making them out of both deer and pork tenderloin.  Then another guy got married and his wife only eats chicken, not kidding, she won’t eat any other kind of meat, so now they are made out of deer, pork tenderloin and chicken to please everyone’s wife (knew we shouldn’t have let women join this group).  Which is why they are called “Critters” you can make them out of almost any ole kind of meat (except hamburger meat).  Things are set up assembly line style and anyone who wants to eat helps in the kitchen first and they are always served with Johnny Potatoes.  When you read the recipes you will realize that silverware is definitely optional (how many times do I have to tell ya, we live in Texas).

Critters:

Meat, any old kind of meat will do, including shrimp, cut into bite size chunks (don’t cut the shrimp)

Jalapeno’s (we use sliced San Marcos in a can because they aren’t too hot) cut in half.

Worcestershire Sauce

Olive Oil

Whatever spices you like and can find in the spice cabinet, but mostly garlic, salt & paprika

Barbeque sauce if you have a favorite flavor

Bacon (the cheapest kind you can find with lots of fat showing)

Toothpicks (soaked in water)

Several cases of beer or a couple of kegs

Take the chunked up meat and marinate in a combination of olive oil, Worcestershire sauce and spices for about 30 minutes or can use the BBQ sauce instead.  Start marinating yourself in the beer. Cut the strips of bacon in half and line up on a large cutting board, lay a chunk of meat and a jalapeno on each bacon slice, roll up tortilla style and spear with a toothpick.  Have several more beers while doing this.  Put them back in the marinade as you make them.  Grab a couple of beers and head out to the grill with the meat.  Grill for about 10 minutes then move them to the upper rack for another 10 minutes or so to cook the bacon.  Have had so many beers by now that it won’t matter if the bacon is cooked or not so pull them off the grill.  They will get eaten as fast as you can pull them off the grill.  DON'T EAT THE TOOTHPICKS no matter how drunk you are!

Johnny Potatoes are simply small russet potatoes sliced in half, lengthwise, placed on a piece of foil.  Liberally apply butter, garlic, salt & pepper and any other spices you want.  Wrap them up tightly and grill these for about 30 minutes.  It’s best to make the potatoes before you make the critters because wrapped in foil will hold them warm for a while.

So you see that the foil and toothpicks will be used for utensils and will save on the washing of dishes and/or clean up.  Oh, and this dish is best eaten with a beer in one hand and either a critter or Johnny Potato in the other. 

Girls, you can see that this is a very woman friendly recipe because the testosterone comes out in huge quantities when grilling (or beer) is mentioned and after wrapping the critters and potatoes you can sit around in the lawn furniture and gossip while the men man the grill.  Plus if you put the marinate in ziplock baggies, instead of using a bowl, you can just throw the bags away.  The only dishes you should have are the cutting board, 2 knifes (1 to cut the meat and one to spread the butter on the potatoes) and whatever platter is used to carry the meat/potatoes out to the grill.  Just make sure you have plenty of trashcans around for all the beer bottles.  Oh, yeah, and you can make a salad to go along with this if you want.

ENJOY!