I swear, I'm not an only child, but sometimes I have a real problem sharing.

We have several refrigerators at work for employees to store their lunch items in.  The refrigerators are located in the break rooms, which are very public, and for years items would disappear before you had a chance to eat them.  Fellow co-workers always mark items with their names, but the refrigerator monster would still eat them.  It was speculated exactly who the monster was, but no one has ever been able to prove it.  In my area, we actually have a pool as to who the guilty party is and at $10 a square, the pot is up to $320.  If the person you picked left the company and the thieving continued - too bad, you were considered a loser and your $10 stayed in the pot.

Now, flash back to yesterday.  I love the little individually wrapped Laughing Cow cheeses and had (against my better judgement) brought a whole wheel to work and hid it in the fridge.  Mostly I try to keep non perishable items in my desk, which I can lock, like dried fruit, crackers, dried soups, etc...  Had some lovely Trisket's that I was gonna share the cheese with.  Anywhoo, I went into the break room to fish my lovely little cheeses outta the fridge and one of my co-workers had his head stuck in there, so I acted like I was actually getting some ice for my water (didn't want him to see where I hid the cheese, in case he was the monster).  I filled my cup up with ice and looked over at him to see if he was anywhere close to being done digging in there - THAT'S WHEN I NOTICED IT.  The Bastard had one of my precious little cheeses in his hand and had taken a bite out of it.  I stomped over to him, yanked the door open and grabbed the rest of the wheel, the whole while glaring at him with my meanest stare.  According to both my boys, I can have "Mean Eyes" when I want to - can still take my 19 yr old to his knees with just a look.  I just stood there staring at him and he said "Mmmmmm these are good, are they yours".  I said "YES" through clenched teeth, then he had the balls to say "Mind if I have one".  This was absolutely the last straw, so I held out my hand and said "Yes, I do mind if you have one".  He looked at me like I had lost my mind so I glared back and shook my open palm at him as if saying give it back.  He dropped it in my hand and walked out of the room, the whole time muttering "Crazy Bitch".

One of the reason's that this is so funny is because I'm known for being extremely generous at work and will often make stuff at home and take it to work to share with the others.  What can I say, I love to cook and would weigh 300 lbs if I ate everything that I made so I experiment and they are my little guinea pigs.  I'm also very quiet and stay at my desk working most of the day.  The really sucky part of this is that I didn't even win the $300 dollars, but the guy who did split it with me because he was walking down the hall when monster was leaving the break room and said the look on monster's face was priceless.  He started laughing histerically when he entered the break room, saw me with the half eaten cheese triangle still in my open hand and figured out what had gone down.  He always said that I was gonna go postal one day.

I did stop and buy a nice pair of boots on the way home that I had been coveting - good thing I don't have to share those with anyone - lol