The quickest way to ruin hubby's amorous advances is to let loose of a really loud, really stinky lower end bodily function that leaves a green smelly fog lingering around the room. Reason’s why it’s his fault.

1. You warned him that you had black-bean soup for lunch
2. You begged him not to kiss that particular spot a million times before as it tickles
3. He didn’t listen, kissed it and made you laugh

Not that this has ever, ever happened to me, but I'm just saying it probably would be the quickest way.